“Negativity is the devil whispering in your ear…” Coping with negative people…

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May 172013

A Negative Perception…

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” – Oscar Wilde

“Humans see what they want to see.” - Rick Riordan

“The optimist sees the donut, the pessimist sees the hole.” – Oscar Wilde

“Your agreement with reality defines your life.” – Steve Maraboli

“Perception and reality are two different things.” – Tom Cruise

It’s something that can affect the way you live. It’s something that can determine your emotions. And… most of all, it’s something that can affect your happiness.

We all know someone with a negative perception. Someone for whom nothing ever goes right, right? (By the way, if you’re thinking you don’t – there’s a high chance it could be you!).

I’m going to assume that you DO know someone else with a constant negative perception. And I’m going to give you some hints and tips to try and help them flip their perception on its head.

Not for their sake (well, not entirely) but for your sake too.

Because when you’ve spent time around someone with a negative perception, it can bring you down.

And if this person is a family member or a close friend, it’s sometimes not possible to just omit them from your life.

1) “Why?”

Ask them why they’re thinking how they are. Or why they’re doing what they’re doing. It might help them get something off their chest, or it might make them step back and realise that, actually, their negative opinion in unjust and, actually, not that rationally.

2) Encourage them to say something positive.

If your friend or family member is coming to you with negative comments at the end of the day, ask them to tell you something good about their day. (Or their life in general, if they’re really struggling with that one!)

3) Do not match their negative perception.

You may feel like you’re being a bad friend if you match their negative comments with positive ones about how great your life is, but it’s actually what they need to hear. BUT don’t let them bring you down to their level. You’re worth more than that.

4) Make sure you limit your time around them.

Again, don’t let them bring you down. Have a cup of tea with them. Spend an afternoon shopping with them. Spend an evening in the pub with them. But it’s inevitable that spending too much time with one negative person will bring you down in a bad way, so limit your exposure to them. Stay strong guys – You can do it!

5) Create a ‘Panic’ word with them.

Now, this one’s a bit out there. With your negative culprit(!!) decide on a meaningless word (potential examples might be apple, potato (unless they’re easily offended by carbs too), David Beckham, David Cameron (although the same issue with the carbs might apply here!).

Anyway, once you have your word, you can use it when you’re in conversation with your friend and they’re giving off negative vibes.

Just say it, right in the middle of their sentence. You never know. Hopefully, this will make them think about what they’re saying in future before David Cameron pops into the conversation!

Hopefully this information enables you to continue to spend time with your friend who has a negative perspective of the world. There’s so much greatness out there – take it upon yourself to help them see it! After all, you’ve got nothing to lose!

If you’ve got any further hints or tips on how you cope with a friend, colleague or family member with a negative perspective, do let us know in the comments. Feedback and comments received gratefully!

Video Games are the BEST Personal Development Tool Out There…..

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May 152013

WHAT? Video Games are the NEW Personal Development Tool? Really?

The other day I was listening to BBC Radio 4 and they were discussing the affect that playing video games has on our brain (by video games I mean- XBox, Playstation, Computer or Wii Games!) One side of the argument was PRO video gaming and their argument was:

Video Games help us to understand political disruption in third world countries, poverty, starvation and ultimately any civil unrest that we may or may not be aware through other mediums.
Books, Newspapers, Movies, Magazines etc. Are all another way of expressing an ideal, a concept, a political agenda (and so forth) video games are just another way of doing this.
By using video games you are essentially training your brain in certain aspects of reasoning, reactions, emotional understanding and so many more facets.

Hmmmmm I’m not sure what you think, but whilst the points above are VERY useful and insightful, don’t you think there are a few more ‘problems’ that arise with playing video games? These people would have us believe that video games are another form of personal development……really?

My other half is an avid fan of Call of Duty, Dead Island and Gears of War and all I see him doing on there is killing people…brutally!

Whilst I understand that playing on these games probably help your reactions and your ability to understand political or economical issues, I struggle to believe that they develop you personally, emotionally or ethically- if anything, video games bring out the needless violent streak in you and makes violence, harm (and even sometimes rape) ok!

To liken video games as having the same sort of educational powers as a book is ludicrous!

But it’s not just about what I think- what do you think? Are there any merits to people playing video games? Help me see the light!

JK Rowling’s Secret Success Weapon

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May 132013

I know you’re all about being the best you can be, and shooting for the stars and crafting an iconic life. Along with doing things most people call impossible. For this, we would like to applaud you.

So I wanted to share a great story with you…

All she ever wanted to do was write but few believed in her. She ended up a single mum, collecting benefit cheques, just to get food onto the table for her and her child.

On a trip from Manchester to London in 1990, her train was delayed. And an idea burst into her imagination about a boy who didn’t know what or who he was.

She called this child Harry Potter and she wrote about his adventures.

12 publishers rejected the book. A small house called Bloomsbury Press eventually agreed to publish it. But even then, the author was told “you’ll never make any money on children’s books.”

Yet, the book caught fire. Touched the hearts of millions. Inspired a new generation to read.

Of course, the woman is JK Rowling.

And she’s sold 400,000,000 books. And built a fortune of £600,000,000.

From an idea. About a young wizard. With a brave heart.

Her secret “weapon”?…

… JK Rowling DIDN’T LISTEN TO THE DOUBTS OF THOSE AROUND HER.

“For some to love you, some must loathe you,” she brilliantly observed.

And she’s right. All visionaries are initially ridiculed before they are revered, some for many years. All enormously successful people first meet with rejection, resistance and yes, sometimes outright hatred. Criticism truly is the price of greatness. And you really need to be so invested in your dream and abilities and passion that ABSOLUTELY NOTHING will knock you off your game. It’s about knowing what you want and how you’re going to get it and never letting those people get in your way.

So be strong. Go for world-class. And when you get knocked down, dust yourself off, and stay true to your loftiest visions. In the end, you’ll be grateful you did.

Alex Ferguson – And how he led Manchester United to everlasting Glory

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May 092013

Alex Ferguson, manager of Manchester United Football Club hung up his managerial gloves on Wednesday and announced his retirement at the end of the current football season. He has won the top-flight league in England 20 times, a feat never achieved before.

This is obviously an amazing achievement for the Scot, and I’ve outlined 5 of Sir Alex Ferguson’s qualities which undoubtedly aided his flight at the top, and how they can help you….

1) Relentlessness.

Fergie has been relentless in his management style. He knew what he wanted in his team, and no one ever saw themselves bigger than the club under his reign. Relentlessness helps you set clear expectations of what you want from others, and HOW they can expect to achieve.

2) Vision.

It’s unlikely that Alex Ferguson experienced the success he did without a LARGE, positive vision. He could see the team lifting the 38 trophies he achieved, and he could see past goal deficits, refereeing decisions and the comments of other players or managers. In your personal life or career, be sure to look BEYOND what is right in front of you – picture yourself achieving your goals and aiming for what you want!

3) Knowledge.

Knowing the game as well as (if not better) than his fellow counterparts in the Premier League ensured the 20 championships. Never stop learning. The world is CONSTANTLY changing around you so it’s unlikely you’ll EVER know EVERYTHING there is to know about your chosen career area. Read, subscribe to magazines, network, test – all these will help you develop ADVANCED knowledge of your area, and give you that all important competitive advantage……

4) Leadership

Alex Ferguson led a football team, but also shaped Manchester United Football Club – so much so that it will be interesting to see how the team fares next season without him. A good leader listens, delegates, and can overcome potential problems before anyone else sees them. Learn to be one step ahead of the game, know your team/colleagues and their strengths and weaknesses and delegate according to where they will excel the most, NOT where they want to work. They’ll thank you for it in the long run.

What do you think of Alex Ferguson’s managerial reign? Do you think any manager in the near future will be able to achieve the same success as him?

Let us know – we’re sure you’ll have some opinions on this one way or another…?!

I can’t, I won’t, I shouldn’t….and other excuses!

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May 062013

Excuses are NOT welcome here…..everyone needs this sign above their door!

We all have those excuses, some of us can come up with more inventive ones than others…but still we all have them. Excuses just hold you back and stop you from succeeding, if you truly want to stop being a ‘I would, I could, I can’t,’ type person then you need to erase these excuses from your mind!

We think this video says it all to be honest and the surprise twist at the ending makes us realise how wafer thin our excuses really are!

Change today, let us know what you’re going to do in the comments box below….

Love it when a Bank Holiday plan comes together…?

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May 032013

As I headed into work today the sun was shining, the sky was blue and I noticed the trees are (finally) starting to turn green! A perfect time to outline some feel-good bank holiday ideas, right?

Don’t find yourself wondering what you are going to do with the extra days off – I’ve outlined some Feel Good ideas to make the most of YOUR long weekend!

Hit the Beach

“My body is here but my mind is at the beach.”

Everything is better at the beach. Even rain is better at the beach. So pack up your windshield and your towel, put on your flip flops and hit the sand for this bank holiday weekend. The sea air will blow those cobwebs away and set you up for the gorgeous spring and summer we’re going to have! (Optimism is a wonderful thing, hey!)

Try something new

“Never be afraid to try something new because life gets boring when you stay within the limits of what you already know.”

Don’t stay in the limits of what you already know. Try something you’ve never done before. Book a horse-riding lesson, go to a local football match, try a restaurant with exotic food, find a new pub which you might fall in love with and meet some great friends. If you constantly do the same thing, you’ll stay where you are. And if you’re just staying where you are, you’re not bettering yourself!

Get active

“He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything.”

If you wish you could still fit in your old Levi’s, or you want to be able to run around the garden with your children, why not use this bank holiday weekend to GET ACTIVE! You’re the only one who can make the decision to get moving. This doesn’t mean you have to be in the gym – take a walk to the shops, walk to a friend’s house, hire a bike and hit the local forest trail. Or, if you’re feeling even more adventurous, an idea could be paintballing or Go Ape? There’s plenty of laughs to be had and you’ll get home feeling content, satisfied and (I’m not going to lie to you) a little bit sore!!

Relax

“Turn off your mind, relax, and float downstream.”

If you see some scorching sunshine over the Bank Holiday weekend, why not head into the garden, or your local park and just relax. Put your favourite album on your iPod. Start reading your favourite book again. Make yourself a Pina Colada or Cosmopolitan (Carrie Bradshaw would be jealous!), kick back and just soak up the rays. Your bronzing skin in the office on Tuesday will have colleagues glancing your way in awe so early in the season!!

Visit a new place.

“Never go on trips with anyone you do not love.”

If you’ve got a best friend or family members who are finding themselves at a loose end this Bank Holiday weekend, why not get in touch and hit the road? Set a budget and see what hotel rooms are available on Last Minute or Late Rooms. Try a town you’ve never been to before, head back to your University city or head to the countryside to get away from it all. (Draw straws to determine who’s going to drive!). When you return home on Monday you’ll feel refreshed, ready for the week ahead, and you’ll feel like you’ve truly made the most of the weekend!

Have you got anything great planned this Bank Holiday weekend? How would you ideally want to spend it?

Feeling hungry? Here’s another ingredient to put in your cake!

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May 012013

You may not know this (and I don’t know why you would) but I LOVE baking, I don’t profess to be a great baker but I do enjoy spending a Sunday afternoon in the kitchen whipping up some treats for the week ahead, whether it’s a Victoria Sponge, Flapjack or a Mint Chocolate Pavlova. I think it’s got something to do with the fact that, amidst all the chaos in my life, all of the deadlines, panic and pressures- baking a cake is so simple, you take a tried and trusted recipe, get out your ingredients, measure them and them put them in your mixing bowl and ce la vie.

Which is why I’ve decided to write this 10 part entrepreneurial series with a cake baking theme- this is your second part and the ingredient for today is:

Marshmallow- they’re for tomorrow NOT today

I know, a slightly ambiguous ingredient, but you’ll like this one. Have you ever heard of the famous Stanford University study involving a group of 4 year olds and a marshmallow- the 4 year olds were put in a room (alone) and told that if they could abstain from eating the 1 marshmallow in front of them for 20 minutes, they would get 2 in reward. This experiment has been repeated since it’s inception in 1072 and the footage is hilarious to watch, with all of the children, wiggling and grimacing over the torture of the ‘delayed gratification’ dilemma. The most interesting thing to note about this experiment is that, when researchers tracked these children down in later life, they found that those who were originally able to last the 20 minutes were more successful in life (generally).

Simply put, an entrepreneur knows deep down that it is worth the sacrifice of the near years for the far greater return beyond. This takes a huge level of mental discipline and the ‘marshmallow now’ brigade simply doesn’t have this.

This ingredient requires you to really critically assess yourself- are you part of the marshmallow brigade? If you are do you think maybe you should change? Because you won’t be a successful entrepreneur without altering this mindset.

Make the change today- and you’ll reap the rewards in the future.

Work-life balance. Maximise YOUR precious time!

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Apr 262013

Finding yourself wishing you could spend more time with friends and family. Checking work emails when you’re out on a Saturday night in case there’s an URGENT in the subject bar? The following 4 pointers may help you allocate your time wisely…

1. Make Family Time

“Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.”

You want to work hard to do the best for your family. You want to go on nice holidays and treat them to gadgets and toys and the latest crazes. However, when they’re older, they’re not going to recount tales of receiving the latest crazes. They’ll remember relaxing in the garden, walking the dog on the beach. The most valuable thing you can give your partner, your parents, your siblings, your children is your time and attention. Don’t forget that!

2. Make some ‘me’ time

“The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone.”

Throughout your childhood and teenage years, it’s all about me, me, me. Then you (most probably) get a full time job, get married, have children, have pets, have elderly parents to look after. In a world where so many of us do much for so many others, it is important to create some me time. A day at the spa? A day on the golf course? Some time at the gym? Whatever it is you like to do, be sure to pencil it into your schedule at least once a week – whilst you’re alone with your thoughts, it will make all the things you do for others seem worthwhile!

3. Stop feeling Guilty

“When you are guilty, it is not your sins you hate but yourself.”

You get home from work late. You haven’t seen your family in days or your friends in weeks. On the other hand, there’s deadlines coming up at work and you’re spending your Saturday in the garden with the paddling pool and a Barbeque. STOP FEELING GUILTY ABOUT IT! You’re working HARD to provide the best life for your family. The sun is shining and you can catch up on your emails later, once the children are asleep. When you decide how you’re going to spend your day, embrace it, enjoy it. Do not let the little voice tell you you should be doing something else.

4. Colour Coordinate your Diary

“If you don’t write when you don’t have time for it, you won’t write when you do have time for it.”

Colour co-ordinate your diary. Use different colours for children, your partner, friends, and me-time. Skip ahead a few weeks and sprawl ‘FAMILY TIME’ across a random Saturday. Allocate a weekend and take a trip with your best friend. If you’ve got a spare hour, book a massage, or a beer at the pub. Managing your work-life balance will ensure you keep not only everyone else in your life happy, but, more important, it will keep YOU happy.

Conclusion

The sheer fact that you have to balance your work and life means you are in a great position. You have a job. You have family and friends. This is something that should make you sit back and think about how fortunate you are – even if you do have to squeeze it all into a 24 hour day!

Do you have any great tips on how to balance you working life and your home/personal life? We’d love to hear them in the comments!

How do you become the Ultimate Entrepreneur? Why- Bake a Cake!

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Apr 242013

I don’t know about you, but for a lot of us out there, we spend a good couple of hours each week reading about our favourite famous entrepreneurs out there, hoping to gleam some small insight into their psyche, mindset and ultimately to understand HOW they have become the success they are.

So it got me thinking (and researching) about the exact ingredients needed to join the echelons of the successful self-employed- each week, every Wednesday I’m going to share with you a top ingredient that you can put into your ‘entrepreneurial cake’ and begin to make the changes and improvements you need in your life and business to become the ultimate entrepreneur.

Ingredient #1

I learnt this word from an amazing blog (dommorhouse.com) and he describes it as Chutzpah- the Yiddish word captures a key entrepreneurial quality perfectly. Historically/traditionally it’s had negative connotations, it means someone who crosses the accepted boundary line with little to no shame, but I’d like you to think about it like this; Chutzpah actually means someone who’s breaking boundaries with a cheeky, confident and permanently optimistic glint in their eye, who live safe in the knowledge that they are about to challenge the current status quo.

Do you think you have any Chutzpah? Or does the thought of challenging ANYONE fill you with a cold sweat?

Let’s all make a pact today- over the next 7 days- we’re all going to work on our Chutzpah and try to grow our confidence each and every day.

Good luck!

Thinking of giving up? Watch This!

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Apr 222013

Derek Redmond faced a very difficult situation when he was running in the 1992 Barcelona Olympics, he had to make a choice, to continue or to fall. It’s often those situations when you’re faced with the hardest decisions to make that you truly realise what you’re made of and what those around you are made of.

Watching this video actually made me cry, having someone in Derek’s life like that is truly an inspirational thought, it showed me the importance of having a power team and of surrounding yourself with the right people.

It also showed me what you can achieve if you never give up, what do you think? Are you in a place in your life where you’re ready to throw the towel in?

STOP

Wait a minute, seek counsel, talk to us or talk to a friend, but if you’re thinking of giving up – don’t!

You have talent, grace and power but most importantly- you have the ability to truly achieve your dreams simply by taking part!

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